If you haven’t already heard, our little Missuhsipee family is planning to grow again! We are in the the early stages of adopting another baby and we are simply over the moon! When I wrote to you guys over three years ago announcing our first adoption I mentioned that we couldn’t wait to bring our cry-through-the-nighter home (Solomon). Y’all he still isn’t a great sleeper so we are going to say that we absolutely cannot wait for our “sleep-through-the-nighter” to come home. (;
We’re still in the beginning stages of paperwork and as far as timeline, looking at possibly a year (but who really knows?) before little bit will come home. Solomon is so excited to be a big brother and rocks his baby regularly. Paul and I are just itching to add a second car seat to the car. WE. CAN’T. WAIT!
I should have written this post months ago when we announced that we were starting the process of adopting a second baby, but I just couldn’t write it yet. I rarely open myself up publicly or on social media about things I’m dealing with that leave me vulnerable because I just don’t want to. I’m a wide open book if we’re face to face, but the internet is a harsh and dangerous place…but I’m in this space and I’m going to be honest with you, so don’t be a jerk to me, okay?
I’ve found myself in a different headspace with our second adoption because I, honestly, have just been lamenting that things aren’t easier. I could not possibly care less about having a biological baby or going through pregnancy. We LOVE adoption. I love that my children do have and will have BEAUTIFUL brown skin, and that the first months of our babies being home mean they’re skin on skin with us for every second so their little hearts can learn just who Mama and Daddy are. I welcome the opportunity to educate onlookers in Wal-Mart, and am a proud participant in the fight for racial equality in our South Mississippi town. Those parts of adoption are beautiful and perfect in our lives. What I have found myself wishing is the PROCESS of adoption to be easier. I don’t want to ask people to help me raise $14,000 to grow my family. I’m frustrated that instead playing in the yard we’re brainstorming products to sell to help raise money; will a Christmas ornament sell? How much will we need to put up front and what if they don’t sell? Lately, I’ve been dishing out a good bit of irritation to God because it would just be easier to get pregnant and move on forward without involving all of you. People get pregnant all the time and don’t have to sell t-shirts, come up with creative fundraisers, or get background checks to make it happen. I wanted our kiddos to be born around 2 years apart and as we’re passing Solomon’s 3rd birthday I’m lamenting. God, we WANT to adopt…why isn’t it easier?
Then tonight the Lord spoke to us by way of some really amazing friends (I could gush here, I’m trying to refrain). Out of the blue they gave us a gift of some financial support for our adoption.
Vulnerability.
Tears.
Gratitude that can’t really be put into words.
How do you thank someone for helping you take one of so many steps to bring your baby home?
And I felt that subtle nudge from the Lord telling me to come on because we’ve got some work to do and we’ve got a baby to bring home.
Paul and I have felt this vulnerability all night of not really knowing how to convey the thanks we feel and simultaneously not liking that we NEED our tribe to bring our next snuggler home. That right there is it. I want to do this and not need anyone to help us. That’s how we, as people, feel about life in general and the lesson here is bigger than leaning into our community for support of our adoption. The nugget here is that we all tend to stay in our own lane, and it’s time to stop living that way. The vulnerability, the raw openness of our need on display for everyone to see is uncomfortable. But then, we’ve opened ourselves up to be able to walk into this world of support that we didn’t even know existed from nomadic yogi friends abroad to uncles out West to best friends that are family and everyone in between.
Because the truth is that we do need you.
Thank you for surrounding us, for showing up and standing in line at Ed’s Burger Joint , for buying t-shirts, and for being people who leave us amazed at how much you love us.